A muffled sob woke Axel from his sleep. Damn, and he'd just been having a good dream too. He propped himself up on his elbows to look at the blonde Nobody on the other side of the king-sized bed. From the way his torso moved under the covers, he was crying. Axel sighed heavily. The younger Nobody was the Organization's newest and -not to mention- youngest member to date.
<Augh, why couldn't the Superior have assigned the boy a different caretaker to show him the ropes?> Demyx, for example, would have been kind and courteous to him, but he was a coward, and much too cutesy. Vexen wouldn't be a good candidate either, absorbed as he was in his research. Xigbar and Xaldin were too psychotic, always shooting or stabbing things. Larxene was psychotic as well and the boy would not want a psychotic mother figure around. Zexion was too moody and Saix was just plain dangerous. Marluxia was Demyx done over with the added cutesy factor of being a flower-loving freak. Luxord would have the blonde stripped in minutes in a game of poker-which made everyone decline him a game (especially Larxene).
So it fell to Axel, the Organizations slacker, to care for and teach the boy everything he needed to know.
"Hey, quit your cryin'!" Axel snapped irritably. He'd forgotten the dream he'd been wanting to return to and was very ticked off about it.
Roxas stopped abruptly and raised his head from the soaked pillow to stare at Axel.
oh, God. those eyes. just like Demyx's only blue.
<Just what we need, another cutesy Organization member.>
"Listen up, Shorty. I have rules. One, don't ever wake me up in the middle of the night, not even if my room is on fire. Two, no crying. Ever. Especially around Xigbar. Three, I don't like you and you shouldn't expect me to. I tolerate you. Theres a difference. Got it memorized?" the younger Nobody nodded, but there was a definite quiver to his lower lip.
"Now, here are things you need to know about certain members, and you better remember 'em. Xemnas and Saix are together, and Saix is very touchy about that. Zexion will have dirt on you by the end of the day tomorrow. He has dirt on everyone so don't think he's picking on you."
"What does he have on you?"Roxas queried.
Axel very nearly blushed.
"That is classified information." he cleared his throat then continued,"Xaldin likes stabbing things with his spears, so don't tick him off. Pillows, rear-ends, plushies, it's all the same to him. Xigbar is a dead-eye shooter, never misses a shot. Ever. Plus, he can walk on the ceiling and scare the hell out of you. Stay away from Larxene. Demyx is safe but he's Xigbars, so don't offend him."
Roxas wondered fleetingly how he had joined an organization full of gays, but kept this to himself. He listened to Axel continue his lecture and kept a bored expression on his face.
"Marluxias okay unless you screw with his flowers, and you should never, ever, go shopping with him, especially at a Bath and Body works." Axel shuddered. "And never play strip poker with Luxord. The man is too good at card games."
" What about Lexaeus?" the teen ventured to ask.
"Lex? He's an okay dude, he'll protect you from Xigbar-those two don't get along very well. Xigbar has annoyed Lex too many times. Which reminds me: some of the Organization have nicknames. Demyx started them and they've stuck. Xemnas' is Xemmy; Xigbars is Xiggy, but that's for Demyxs use alone; Lexaeus' is Lex, you might have noticed; Zexion doesn't mind being called Zezzy, but Zex unfortunately sounds like sex, so he'll kill you if you call him Zex- Zexy is okay, but it depends on his mood; Demyx is called Demmy by Xigbar and Marluxia because Marluxia has nothing better to do; Larxene can only be called Larxy by Demyx, anyone else will be castrated-slowly and painfully." Axel paused to catch his breath then added, "Demyx will probably have a name for you at breakfast."
"Great,"the blonde remarked,"what else should i expect?" When the older man shrugged, roxas rolled onto his side and closed his eyes. axel followed his example and soon both were fast asleep.